Thoughts from My Journey

 Over the last year or so I have been on a Journey, a specific Journey. I have come to see grace in a new light. I like many other Christians, relegated grace to a moment in time, the time when I bent my knee in submission to God. I left it there in the past not realizing that it is a constant companion on this walk. Like the Galatians that Paul wrote to I had started out in the Spirit but somewhere along the way I started trying to work it all out on my own. I knew where my weaknesses were and I did everything humanly possible to avoid sin and live out a holy lifestyle. I knew that God expected me, no commanded me, to be holy and yet I became frustrated when I did not live up to those expectations. In fact it seemed the harder I tried the more I struggled to live right. I found that although I could avoid doing certain things my attitude betrayed my true heart.

 I remember one day reading a book and I was stuck by how self-righteous I had become.  I sat in my office and fought with myself, with God, with the book. “I am not self-righteous, I know that I have faults and am not perfect.”  The more I argued the more I could see that I was in fact confirming that I was self-righteous. As I sat there the thought came to me, “a self-righteous person will never admit they are self-righteous.” Great, now on top of all my other faults I have this to deal with. It was in that moment that I began to realize that my definition of self-righteousness was not what God was trying to tell me. I thought that being self-righteous meant I thought I was better than everyone else, that I overlooked my faults to point out the faults of others. And although this could be a definition, and I at times have struggled in this area, this is not what God was showing me.

 My self-righteousness came in the form of works, trying to better myself, trying to live a sinless life, trying to obtain perfection. All of these things are good but my problem was that I was trying to do it without the grace of God in my life. Rules were set up that would guide my life and cause me to grow. I knew that God ultimately wants me to be like Christ and I thought that if I had enough rules that I could become that. That Is where the self-righteousness came from….MY work, MY goodness, MY adhering to the rules.  But somehow the joy of my salvation was not evident or prevalent in my life. The rules were not causing me to grow. In fact it had the opposite effect, because when I did not live up to the rules I felt condemned. God had to strip me of my self so that I could see and receive his grace.

“When the mask of self-righteousness has been torn from us and we stand stripped of all our accustomed defenses, we are candidates for God's generous grace.” -Erwin W. Lutzer 

 Where I was missing it, well one of the ways I was missing it, was that I was trying to accomplish through a set of rules and regulations what can only be done through a relationship. I grew up going to church and I knew in my mind that this is really about a relationship, but some how I had equated rules to relationship.  This journey is about becoming like Christ and if that is going to happen than I must know Christ. I must admit that when I really started to go on this journey it was scary, I mean there is comfort in the rules, and you always know where you stand. Rules are sterile, clean, hard, but relationships are messy, fluid and changing. Relationships are work and I am not particularly good at relationships.

“God's grace turns out men and women with a strong family likeness to Jesus Christ, not milksops.” -Oswald Chambers (1874-1917)

  And yet here I was being challenged in one of my weakest points, to have a real, authentic, open, naked relationship.  And worse yet this being that I am developing a relationship with Is perfect.  How can I expect to have a relationship with someone that is perfect, never made a mistake? In my other relationships we talk about things going on in our lives, the wife, kids, Dr. Visits, golf. And we talk at times about our struggles. I don’t necessarily like to hear when a friend is struggling but it does remind me that I am not alone. But this relationship is going to be very different. Where do I start? It seems like it is going to be extremely one sided.  I can’t speak for everyone but I can tell you where it started for me. LOVE

I know, I know, I am a man and men don’t write about love unless it has a picture of Fabio on the cover and they are trying to make money and yet I found myself in an intense love relationship. At first it was very one sided but not the way I thought. It was not me telling Him about my life it was Him telling me about His love for me. This relationship thing changed for me when I realized that God LOVES me and that He loves me for who I am, not who I should be. For some of you this may be an old concept but for me it was a fresh revelation. I am LOVED.

I don’t have enough time or space to cover everything right now but here are a few things I learned on my journey.

I have learned that I must trust, I must trust that the work that Jesus did through the cross and resurrection is enough for my salvation. I must trust that the best I could ever do will never be good enough and that is OK.

“A man must completely despair of himself in order to become fit to obtain the grace of Christ.” -Martin Luther (1483-1546)

I must trust that grace will cause me to be holy.

“The law detects, grace alone conquers sin.” - Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430)

 “As heat is opposed to cold, and light to darkness, so grace is opposed to sin.” -Thomas Benton Brooks (1608-1680)

“For grace is given not because we have done good works, but in order that we may be able to do them.” - Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430)

“Grace is the central invitation to life and the final word. It's the beckoning nudge and the overwhelming, undeserved mercy that urges us to change and grow, and then gives us the power to pull it off.” -Tim Hansel

There is no way to write down all the ways that this journey has affected my life in one post. It has altered the way I see God, Myself and others. It has caused me to love more completely and has restored my joy. I used to live this life out of duty and obligation; I now live it out of gratitude and thanksgiving.

I discovered that the laws I had set up not only condemned me but they restricted me because I was so caught up in fulfilling something that I missed the joy in doing the work.

“The motive and purpose behind the law ... is to make it clear exactly how much you must do and no more. Grace refuses to put a ceiling or a floor on concern for the neighbor.” -Joseph Fletcher

To me, as a pastor, one of the greatest benefits of this journey has been the outgrowth of love that I have for others. I can now show grace and mercy because I have allowed myself to live in it.

To sum it up I think E. Stanley Jones said it best,

“Grace binds you with far stronger cords than the cords of duty or obligation can bind you. Grace is free, but when once you take it, you are bound forever to the Giver and bound to catch the spirit of the Giver. Like produces like. Grace makes you gracious, the Giver makes you give.” -E. Stanley Jones (1884-1973)

I will continue writing about this journey. Feel free to post comments.I AM WORKING ON GETTING THE COMMENTS SECTION FIXED. FOR NOW YOU CAN GO THE THE FORUM PAGE AND COMMENT THERE. THANK YOU

2 Peter 1:2

Pastor Tim